Writers are not well-known for being highly paid, unless you’re talking about the Stephen Kings of the world. I’d rather be writing than doing anything else, but I’m really quite attached to the whole idea of regular meals.I’ve been contemplating a night job recently, and I have to tell you that this is probably the only time I ever wished I was a bartender. Well, I guess I still could be a bartender, technically speaking, but that would require going to Mixologist U, passing the How to Spot Drunks Class, and camping out at the police department for a Sheriff’s Card. No thanks. When I searched through the ads for night work, however, I could see that the pickings are slim for those of us not employed at a bar or casino.
Kennel attendants, security officers, and exotic dancers all work at night. Dancer was out, for all the reasons you might assume. I don’t like guns, so security officer was also a no-go. Kennel attendant didn’t sound too bad, actually, except that there are too many unknowns there. Sick dogs or well dogs? Does “kennel attendant” really mean “icky fluids and semi-solids cleanup person”? Are the dogs sleeping? May I be sleeping, too, unless a dog is in dire need? And what constitutes dire need for a dog, anyway, at 3 a.m.? I tell my own dogs to knock it off and go back to sleep if they wake me up in the middle of the night. Okay, so kennel attendant is definitely out.
I suppose McCarren is hiring night-time TSA agents, although I just don’t think I can participate in such a vast bureaucratic conspiracy to torment travelers for the sole purpose of pretending to thwart terrorists.
An escort agency was hiring a night operator/receptionist, which sounded like it might be fun, but I knew it was unlikely to gain approval from my husband. Actually, I determined, I could pretty much skip over anything containing “adult” in the job description. That eliminated several ads.
Home care workers also work at night, but that sounded terribly depressing to me. I’ve taken care of ill and elderly people, and $7 an hour isn’t enough. I thought maybe a nighttime janitorial service might be hiring, but apparently those primo spots are only for those who know somebody – nary a single ad.
Maybe I should re-consider that whole bartender thing after all.
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